Children Are Quicker And British Humour Is Different Than Ours -Laugh Anyway

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Class started before I got here.


Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.


Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell crocodile?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
Glenn: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.


Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: HIJKLMNO.
Teacher: What are talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it's H to O.


Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: ME!


Teacher: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
Glen: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are!


Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I'.
Millie: I is...
Teacher: No, Millie...Always say, 'I am.'
Millie: All right..I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.


Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louis, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louis: Because George still had the axe in his hand.


Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Simon: No sir, I don't have to. My mom is a good cook.


Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog'is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No sir, it's the same dog.


Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher.


BRITISH CLASSIFIEDS:


Free puppies
1/2 cocker spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog


Joining Nudist Colony
Must sell washer and dryer: (10 pounds)


Wedding Dress for Sale worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.


For sale by owner: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes
Excellent condition. Best offer.
*No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.