Don't Consider This Pun-Ish-Ment. We're Just Odd Birds Who Enjoy Using Words

No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery

A dog who gave birth to puppies near the road was cited for littering.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Fattest knight at King Arthur's Court was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

A grenade thrown into a Parisienne kitchen would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Two hats hanging on a hat rack: One hat said to the other, "You stay here. I'll go on a head."

The midget fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

Jump off a bridge in Paris and you'll be in Seine.