Get A Stiff Whiff Of The Way Children See Things From These In-See-Dense

"I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when the woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.

SHE WAS STARK NAKED!! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my five-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

"My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it into the garbage bag.

Zachary stood there thinking for a moment. Then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a couple of days ago."

"On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note form his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

"A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of its jar. During her struggle, the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother.

Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

"A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running to cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter? Have you never seen a little boy before?"

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon runs. THe various appliances of old age --particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs-- unfailingly intrigued her.

One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party when she saw h er dad donning his tuxedo. She look vexed. "Daddy," she said, "you shouldn't wear that suit."

His answer was, "And why not, darling?"

"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."