In My Heyday Writing Parodies Was The Way To Sway Opinions Among Minions

"When I buy a dress, this I must confess, I get so distressed over Twiggy; she's all bone and skin, I think it's a sin, that everyone's worshipping Twiggy;

For what has Twiggy got that I haven't got with plenty more to spare? She's built like Yucca Flats, which makes Mother Earth as sexy as Smokey Bear. So let's organize, there are more of our size than that British straw name of Twiggy,

Be stylishly stout, we're gonna come out -- with a model whose name will be Piggy,
So eat another portion, with Twiggy we will fight back, tit for tat, and then we can be worth our weight in FAT -- how about THAT?

In days of yore, the first can of dietetic realm was called Metrical. So my friend and I did a take-off on "Metricali Rose."

"Metri-calli Rose, they call me, drink my calories three times a day, Why did this sad fate befall me?
Could it be my glands just work that way? No more pizza pies and sundaes, no more big desserts and goodness knows, No more big desserts, Oh how it hurts to be Metricali Rose.

Dieting is so frustrating, Tempting calories they disapprove. I feel like I am liquidating,
You can hear me schlosh each time I move, Haven't had a meal in ages, I just punch a can and out it flows, no more big desserts, oh how it hurts, to be Metricali Rose."