JOKES THAT JIGGLE YOUR MIDDLE AND MAKE YOU GLAD YOU HAVE A LAUGH MACHINE

Nate, an 85-year-old goes to the doctor for his check-up.

A week later, the doctor sees him out at a restaurant, and on his arm is a big-bosomed chippie, with lots of makeup and jostles of jewelry. "How ya doin'?" the doctor asks.

Nate says, "I'm following doctors' orders.

Doctor: "Howzat?"

"You told me to get a big mama and be cheerful."

"What I said was, 'You got a heart murmur and be careful."

***

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving."

***

You know the best form of birth control after 50?

Nudity.

***

What's the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale? A Northern fairy tale begins with "Once upon a time." The Southern fairy tale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh--."

George W. Bush sees in the airport
a man with long white hair wearing along flowing white robe and carrying two stone tablets.

Bush goes up to him and says, "Aren't you Moses?" The man keeps turning corners and ignoring Bush. They keep dodging corners.

Finally, the man who looks like Moses says, "OK, I'm Moses but the last time when I talked to a Bush I spent 40 years in the desert."