Want To Entertain Guests? Memorize These Laugh Lines To Become Fave Rave

PIECE TOGETHER COMEDY LINES TO BE SERVICE CLUB GUEST SPEAKER...

She's at the time of her life when any man who looks back looks good.

Her face has been lifted so many times, when she raises her eyebrows she gets a run in her stockings.

Her only wardrobe is the coat on her tongue.

One man went to psychiatrist to see about his alcoholism and now he only drinks on a couch.

Nobody would call her fat but she's the only woman who has to put on a girdle to get into a kimono.

My boyfriend only wears black and white shoes. But the white one keeps getting dirty.

My wife and I made a pact. we fly on the same plane but take separate cars.

A stranger comes up to a man eating his lunch at an Olive Garden. He asks, "Would you like to buy this restaurant?" Man says no. He says, "That's okay. Can I have your name so I can tell the government we talked business?"

You know the 10 best years of a woman's life are between the ages of 29 and 30?

She's a woman who never follows a fashion unless it is impractical, unbecoming and uncomfortable.

Husband says his wife wears more clothes to bed than when she goes out.