What A Great Idea For An Art School..You Don't Paint The Nude Models - Trace 'Em

Do you realize if Toulouse Lautrec were alive today, he wouldn't be a painter. He'd be a chauffeur in a Volkswagen.
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If you think Whistler's father is forgotten -- how about the chef at The Last Supper?
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Did you hear about the Texas art connoisseur
who saw Rembrandt's "The Night Watch" and said: "I like that. I like that very much! It has character, depth, understanding, perception. If you have one in green, I'll buy it."
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You know what I admire about Rembrandt? He was the first artist to paint it like it is.
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I was reading a book about Michelangelo - an Italian painter who took seven years to finish a ceiling. What bugged him was when they asked for a second coat.
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I could never understand these girls who write "Dear John" letters. What a crazy thing to be in love with.
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You know, I never look down on the Armed Forces. To me, it's more like a prep school for the American Legion Hall.
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There's this thing about the Army -- you never have to decide on what to wear.