Dissecting The Diary Of A Ditsy Fritzi Since Her Accusers Were Better Boozers

HER YEAR IN REVIEW IS A CLUE

JANUARY: Took new scarf back to the store since it was too tight!

FEBRUARY: Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....
(Helloooooo!!! bottles won't fit in the printer!!!)

MARCH: Got really excited. Finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...Box said "Four years and up."

APRIL: Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

MAY: Tried to make Kool-Aid...wrong instructions...8 cups of water won't fit into these little packets!!!

JUNE: Tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope....

JULY: Lost breast stroke swimming competition...Learned later, the other swimmers cheated: THEY USED THEIR ARMS!!

AUGUST: Got locked out of my car in rain storm...Car soaked because soft-top was open.

SEPTEMBER: The capital of California is "C"....isn't it?

OCTOBER: Hate M & M's...they are so hard to peel.

NOVEMBER: Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said one hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

DECEMBER: Couldn't diall 911. "Duh -- there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone."