Found. The Commercial I Wrote For General Foods' Maxwell House And Yubon Coffee In '70s.

 Once upon a time there lived, high in the mountains of Colombia, a little coffee bean. His name was Juan. That was not his only name. It was his lonely state of mind. But Juan thought big, and was practically going out of his tree trying to figure out how he could get discovered.

When Juan was born, his parents thought he was the finest looking bean they'd ever seen. In a coffee land where no one was perfect and all other beans are graded from two on up, this was a numero uno bean.

Some days, Juan would think, what a bitter pill it is to swallow that I have so much to give, so much potential for flavor and such a build...and no one knows it.

He would sigh sometimes and wish he were in Mexico where at least he could jump around with the other beans. What good was it to be so sharp and know that he had snap and life when he had no one to share it with? Juan wasn't even a has-bean. He was a never was bean.

Then, one day, as Juan was warming himself on the sun-drenched mountainside, something rolled down and knock Juan tail over coffee cup. Not only was this bean good-looking and sweet smelling, but Ole, this was a she bean. Her name was Sun Bean --which made Juan Bean perk up.

Ole, he said again, and before anyone knew what was happening, they were raising a percolation explosion. Sun Bean had found her rainbow's end and Juan never had that wan look again.

He and Sun Bean raised a whole plantation full of coffee beans which were so delectable, Juan loved to sit back and look at all the sons of beans he had sired.

Yet, with all the good crops he and Sun had produced, they still hadn't been discovered.

But little did they know, that warm sunny day in Colombia, that he and Sun were about to become famous. Wending their way up the mountainside were the General Foods chiefs.

Something was brewing. This cadre of talent was in search of a better coffee bean so they could upgrade their already fine, winey coffee brands, Maxwell House and Yuban. Up, up, and up they climbed and suddenly when they set eyes on Juan and all his beauties, these men from the Great White Plains of New York knew they had found a grade of bean which would tantalize the coffee drinkers of America.

(Confab between cadre of coffee execs who were putting this "act" together for their salesmen.) Now, let me get to my favorite part.

Juan rushed off to tell his growing family of coffee beans that they were destined for big things. To the first tree of his family, he said, "Do you know that from what you yield this year, you will make one great pound of coffee? And the coffee beans cheered. Then Juan said, "Do you know that 3,500 of you beans are going to be hand-picked to go into one pound of roasted coffee?

They whooped like crazy.

"You are Juan Man's family," said Juan, and th epeople who drink Maxwell House and Yuban coffee will be so delighted with our flavor and aroma, that they will ask for Juan more cup.

When they ask for Juan more, they are saluting our uniformity. When those happy Americans eat out, they will find we make their General Foods coffee better tasting.

Then General Foods will have more satisfied customers. We will make coffee live it up! All the coffee beans beamed and applauded and said gracias to Juan Bean.

And he said, from just Juan Bean, we are making a new scene.

And so we take our leave from you now. Bless you, Juan.

You are the last of the big-time blenders. May you roast in peace.