Hollywood Is Making A Western That's So Modern, The Indian Medicine Man Is A Pediatrician

You,'ll Plotz When You Hear About Hollywood Plots.

The next Hollywood trend will be realistic pictures. Moses on Mount Sinai looking up from his stone tablets and yelling, "Not so fast! Not so fast!

Personally, I always enjoy the big spectacles where they spent so much do-re-mi to buy the stars' performances, the sets, the costumes, and 10,000 extras -- they don't have anything left over for a plot.

They say an Oscar is worth $5 million to the winning film. Maybe they ought to call them Academy RE-wards?

Did you know the Supreme Court won't let them hold the Academy Award program in public schools? They heard too much praying is going on! (That was true in the past--this joke is old.)

In the 40s ,you could see two of these movies for a dime; now it costs you $500 for a TV set and what do you see? Those same old movies. Remember when Jimmy Cagney was the toughest guy in the screen world? He was sort of a bonsai John Wayne.

One actress in that long, leggy lineup onstage got to be a star because she had three variations on the time step: slow, fast and uncertain.

Some of those girls were loaded with so much glitter the actors didn't know whether to kiss them or pawn them.

Did you hear about the investor who lost his shirt betting on a team called Astaire and Rogers? He was Fred Rogers and she was Ginger Astaire.