"The lion and the lamb shall lie down together, but the calf won't get much sleep." -- Woody Allen
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."--Erma Bombeck
"When in doubt, memble. When in trouble, delegate. When in charge, ponder." (You never heard of him.)
"Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget."--Cheop's law.
"When large numbers of people are out of work, it can leader to unemployment."--Calvin Coolidge.
John Paul Getty's Reminder: --"The meek shall inherit the earth, but not its mineral rights."
Clare Boothe Luce's Law: "No good deed goes unpunished."
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."--Dean Martin.
Mrs. Murphy's Law: "An object shall fall so as to do the most damage." (Also known as "Butter-side down Law.")
"Indifference is the only sure defense." -- Jody Powell's Second Law.
"One third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide." -- Will Rogers' Ratio.
"The intensity of movie publicity is in inverse ratio to the quality of the movie." -- Gene Shalit's Law.